The first Saturday each May is probably one of the most bizarre holidays for us gardener — it’sWorld Naked Gardening Day . No , this is n’t a joke ! For all of you farmers who feel constrained by farm pants and flannel shirt and gook boots — andunderwear!—when watering your strawberry plot of land , here ’s a luck for you to drop your slavey and practice a small horticulture ( or permaculture or biodynamics — whatever your flavor is ) in the buff .
Of course , what kind of farming publication would we be if we did n’t give you some tips on how to garden bare therightway ? We would n’t want to leave you exposed to danger , so here are some lead for safely — and , er , politely?—disrobing in your garden .
1. Wear Sunscreen
One of the very important job our work clothes do for us is prevent ultraviolet illumination beam from infiltrate our tegument . Over the wintertime , when daylight hours are minimal and we spend most waking hours inside , our tegument becomes more vulnerable to sun ’s radiotherapy , making the timing of World Naked Gardening day rather unfortunate . We advise slather on the sun blocker and doing so often to avoid a nastysunburn . ( Same goes with bug spray ! )
2. Avoid Things That Sting & Itch
Brushing up againstnettlesorpoison ivywill be a pot forged without the security of clothing — we guarantee it ! To avoid itchy rashes in unmentionable areas that last days beyond World Naked Gardening Day , keep your distance from unfamiliar plant or known irritants .
3. Be Aware of Your … Parts
Without undergarments to keep certain appendages contain ( up there for the ladies , down there for the fellas ) , you may have extra portion become in the way of your horticulture work . It ’s OK — we’re not gauge . Just check that you do n’t end up haphazardly sprayingfertilizeron your penis or , again , you may be dealing with rashes in plaza no cultured person want to discuss in world .
4. Mind Your Neighbors
If you want to engage in a fiddling uncensored gardening , we applaud you and praise your confidence . However , your neighbour might not share the same sentiments — especially , if the underaged are involved . To protect yourself from a frivolous case — which , get ’s be honorable , no material farmer can afford — or from being shunned by your environ community until kingdom come , make certain there ’s a buffer between you and your buff bod .
5. Take Advantage of Free Irrigation
One of the benefits of gardening naked is that you have all access to free irrigation and fecundation via yourpee . That ’s correct , your urine offers a great source of nutrient helpful to raise crops , and on World Naked Gardening Day , you do n’t even have to worry about get a small sprinkling on your trousers .
So have at it you naked gardeners ! Spread yourcompostand plant semen without any textile getting between you and that gorgeous , luscious territory . And above all , enjoy the fact that on this day and this day only , you wo n’t have any laundry to do when you get inside .
